Old Familiar Pain

Gabby Gabriel — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 09:08:40 +0000

This is one of the few moments where I don’t actually want to lose what I have with someone. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to end a relationship because of the timing and the distance that inevitably would not work well together. This is the first time, however, I’ve had to do it without some kind of hard feelings to remember in order to make it ending it easier. This is the first time I’ve broken up with someone who I whole heartedly felt like it was just too soon, just not fair. My stomach feels that sinking feeling, it reminds me of the “familiar pain” that Dan Fogelberg sings about in his “Same Old Lang Syne.” It’s a mixture of loss, pain, nostalgia and just plain fear. Although it isn’t necessarily the end, I’m treating it as if it is, otherwise I’d be hanging on to a false hope – and nothing tricks you more than false hopes. I hate this feeling; it makes me never want to be in a relationship again. I miss having my companion. The person I shared everything with. I am re-learning what it is to be alone, to sleep alone, to go out alone, and I am left here, feeling this loss, alone. I wish I didn’t, but I love and miss you… more than I ever have anybody in this way.

Quote:

“Life sucks in a good way: falling in love, falling in hate, getting hurt, and getting laid; what’s one without the other? But when it comes to the ritual of growing up, sometimes you smile because you’re happy, and othertimes you smile just because you survived. Yet in the end, a smile is a smile.” – Happy Campers

1 Too Many

Gabby Gabriel — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 01:15:18 +0000

Our time was fleeting, and not because of the amount of time we were allotted. Our time was short because my feelings did not last long for you. At first I was hooked, but after the lust faded I wanted to be with her, the one I am supposed to be with. The one who gets me, she doesn’t have to strain in order to know how to talk to me, or how to please me. The one I sometimes forget I do lust for. Even when I’ve lost my rhythm, just when I think it’s gone, she makes me want to dance again. You were too busy dancing with yourself to realize that I wasn’t feeling your rhythm.

Our time lasted a long time, longer than anticipated, and now it will be suspended almost too soon. You’re the one that I want, and we’ll see where time takes us… When I get back, if you still have that rhythm, you bet I’ll know how to dance.

Supplementary Commentary » you

Old Familiar Pain

1 Too Many